YOU KNOW YOU'RE IRISH IF..........
Come March 1st your home is decorated with green shamrock stickums on the windows, leprachauns perched on the couch, a green tablecloth on the dining room table and a green plastic one, from the Dollar Store, on the kitchen table.
Sure'n St. Paddy's Day is coming!!
Your name is Mary, Rose, Beth, or Marge. Tiffany, Crystal and Amber never made it to the Canonzation of Saints.
The car doors are frozen, your brother wore your warmest jacket to school, and your kid sister is demanding the ten dollars you borrowed back TODAY! With five dollars interest to boot.
When old-age sets in you may not recall your own name, but you'll still be able to recite the words of the Hail Mary.
For days your Ma has everyone dusting, scrubbing, polishing and cleaning like royalty is arriving for a visit. When you dare to say, “Ma, it's only the aunts and uncles and cousins coming for corned beef and cabbage,what's the big deal?” “The big deal is they're family and don't you ever forget it!”
Grandpa is a bit touched, therefore he calls every grand-daughter, “Colleen” and every grand-son, “Bucko.”
Your aunt and uncle have been divorced for twenty-years, but it's a family secret.
Aunt Kate brings green olives as her contribution to the family dinner.
Twins, Jean and Jane, are going to show off their Irish dances so everyone moves back fifty feet.
Great Aunt Loretta calls every child over as she presses “a wee bit o' the green” into each palm. “MA, I got money!”
Families, friends and neighbors have marched in the Southside Irish Parade, shopped for days for refreshments, cooked and baked, and happily open wide their doors with the heartfelt greeting.
“HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY TO YOU!”